Human Error
by That guy83
Summary: Set during the first battle of New Mombasa, Master Chief and Cortana find unlikley help in a half destroyed hospital.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Oh boy, the first person stupid enough to make a House/Halo crossover. I've been a fan of the latter for years, but I just now started my newest addiction to House(Go Huddy!). For now its just a one shot to test my House skills. Maybe with a review or two I may add a chapter(s)?

**Human Error**

"Chief get down!" Cortana yelled as John dodged to the right to avoid a hail of plasma fire. He leaned against the cover of a nearby building before leaning out and fireing a blast from his assault rifle at the group of Elites pinning him down.

"We have you now demon!" One in gold armour chuckled.

"Anywhere else to go?" John asked, reloading his rifle.

"Afraid not, can you take them?" Cortana asked.

"Maybe." John shrugged before pulling the pin off of a frag grenade and chucking it in the Sangheliis direction. Rushing out of cover, he fired at a minor whos shields had been taken down by the blast, shredding it to pieces. Turning his rifle to the zealot, he opened fire with one hand and unholstered his pistol with the other, firing a round into the majors head still laying on the ground.

Having been able to dodge the blast, the general charged at John, energy sword in hand as it slashed at the spartan who quickly sidestepped it. Just as both weapons clicked empty the Sangehlii's shields died. Snarling, it rammed into John, disarming him while also knocking him back several feet.

"Chief!" Cortana yelled as the energy sword pierced the spartans armor. The general stood and chuckled for a moment before John reached up and snapped his neck. The deactivated sword and dead Sanghelii fell to the ground as John leaned against a wall, bleeding heavily.

"How bad?" John grunted, holding the open wound on his torso.

"Your bleeding badly, you've got a four inch gash in your left shoulder. Are you ok?" Cortana asked as the suit began to beep alert signals.

"Never better." John chuckled as he began to walk out of the alleyway.

"I've located a hospital not far from here, you need to hurry before you bleed out and..." Cortana didn't finish as the spartan put effort into a sprint.

"You should know of all people Cortana, spartans never die." John smirked as he made his way past burning cars and debris.

Stopping in front of the battered and slightly burned hospital, the spartan had doubts anyone in their right mind would be in there.

"Any lifesigns?" John asked.

"I'm not picking anything up." Cortana replied.

"Just tell me were I can find some Bio-foam." John ordered as he made his way through the front door.

"Running scematics of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital now." Cortana reported as John looked around the large empty lobby.

"Guess nobody's home." John grunted as he began to make his over to the pharmacy per Cortana's directions.

"I can take it from here," he stopped her as he began to rummage through the pharmacy, his vision beginning to blur.

"I'm not gonna find anyth-" John stopped mid-sentence when something banged off of his shielded visor when he turned around. After taking a step back he saw a bearded man around his fifties, armed with a wooden cane. After a moment of staring the man lowered the cane and looked slightly annoyed.

"Oh, its one of you," he sighed, leaning on his cane.

"Expecting someone?" Cortana asked on the speaker, making the man quickly look back at them.

"You really don't look like a woman," he stated, looking the spartan over.

"I'm not." John said, extending his hand.

"John," he said after the man only stared at his hand.

"House," the man slowly took the hand and shook.

"You got two people in there? Must be a tight squeeze." House joked, limping around the counter to fully view the spartan.

"No." John answered simply, holding his hand out palm up where Cortana appeared in a small version of herself.

"Doctor Gregory House, age 51. You work as the head of-" Cortana flicked green then back to blue as she retrieved data.

"Hey hey hey, I'm the one who talks about me. Its rude to surf the internet when talking to someone." House smirked as he stared at the AI.

"Do you know if the hospital still has any supplies left?" Cortana asked, looking around the mainly destroyed room.

"Nope, but I got my own thank you very much." House informed as he pulled a small bottle of pills, rattling them for added effect.

"Vicodin?" Cortana queastioned as she looked at the bottles perscription.

"You must be a vet from the Insurrection." John nodded at the cane.

"How old do you think I am?" House snapped, narrowing his eyes.

"Old?" Cortana smirked.

"Do you wanna keep talking or do want me to help your friend before he bleeds to death? I got a Med-Kit over here." House turned serious as both the spartan and his AI noticed the pool of blood at his feet.

"But you just said-." Cortana started.

"Yea, but I was lieing. Your surprised how people don't stop to talk when the Earth in being invaded. I was bored, now I'm now." House turned on his heel and began walking over to a small medical kit hanging on the wall.

"May want to find someplace to...sit." House paused when he heard the spartan slump to the ground.

"Uh huh." House said smuggly as he pulled the kit off of the wall and began to limp back to the uncounsious spartan.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: For those of you who track my other stories, 'Aftermath' is on hold because of my Beta being on vacation. Those that have not read it, go do so, and check out my others!

**Human Error**

John woke slowly, grunting as he felt a sharp pain in his left arm.

"Good morning Sunshine." he heared House say as he opened his eyes.

"Hope you don't mind but I had to get rid of your green armor crap. I even took the pleasure of muting your very talkative little friend." House said happily as John leaned up to see the doctor was telling the truth as he laid on the ground in nothing but standard issue UNSC sleeping wear.

"Nice boxers by the way," he added before removing the morphine shot from the spartans arm.

"Turn her back on, now." John demanded.

"Well shes only an AI, but I still have some game left in me." House smirked as he walked over and took the chip out of John's helmet and placed it inside a viewing stand in the middle of the room. In a moment a life size version of Cortana appeared, her avatar red as she scoffed at House.

"One of the smartest AI in the world and I can't unjam the mute button." Cortana murmured, staring at the doctor then at John.

"You ok?"

"Been better," he admitted.

"Bio-Foam killed any infection and I used good ole' stitchs to patch you up. Would you listen if I told you to rest for a few days?" House asked, shaking his head as the spartan stood.

"I have work to do." John said as he began to put on his armor.

"So did I a few hours ago," House looked at his watch. "And now I'm just doing overtime."

"How did you make it out of medical school?" Cortana smirked.

"Bribes and more sexual favors then I care to remember." House answered.

"Lets get going, thanks for your help." John said, pulling out Cortana and joining her back into his helmet.

"Ah, home sweet home," she chuckled.

"Your an idiot." House said flatly, stopping the spartan before he left.

"What?" John asked, unsure what made House say that.

"Your an idiot," he repeated with a sigh.

"How so?" Cortana quickly asked.

"Not you!" House snapped. "Him!"

"Your brave, I'll give you that." John said before turing to leave once again.

"What will you do?" House yelled as the spartan was halfway to the door.

"Take down the Covanent?" John tried, not caring for anymore talking as he walked.

"After the war you nutjob." House tried catching up to him, albiet with effort.

"What?" John repeated, stopping and turning to House.

"What will you do after the war?" House asked, getting silence as John thought.

"My point," House nodded. "You have no future because your a tool."

"I don't want to injure a cripple further." John threatened.

"I'm no Innie but even I know what the UNSC has done to you. Your a tool, a weapon, nothing more." House continued.

"Thats not true chief." Cortana said over the suit speakers.

"Your one to talk, your not even alive! You really are a piece of UNSC propperty. Why don't you lean over spartan boy and let me look for a 'Made on Reach' stamp?" House ignored the AI and continued his assault.

"I do my duty, I'm a spartan first and formost." John said stubbornly.

"You have no choice but to fight, its in your brainwashing." House sighed.

"I was trained, not brainwashed." John said angrily.

"Your an idiot. And a human error." House said one last time before turning and limping back to the Pharmacy, popping a Vicocin as he entered.

"Ignore him Chief, lets go." Cortana said softly. After a moment John left the hospital, House's words turning unwanted wheels in the spartans head as he thought about his words.

A/N: Leave it to House to start a conspiracy. Stories done, so how was it? Also, any House fan know where I got the title?


End file.
